Every couple argues. What separates couples who feel close from couples who feel stuck isn’t the absence of conflict, it’s what happens afterward. The couples who recover well tend to do a few simple things: they come back to the moment once it’s cooled down, they own their own part before pointing at the other person’s, and they treat the goal as understanding rather than winning. None of this is complicated. It’s just hard to do in the heat of it, which is a lot of what we practice together.